There’s a lot going on these days that doesn’t make sense, buying a lightbulb is one. I’m not kidding; have you bought a light bulb, any size, in the last year? Well, surprise, surprise.

There was once a time when we could walk into a store, buy a four pack of ordinary bulbs and that was it. Bulbs for ceiling lights, lamps, the porch, anyplace we needed light. We can’t do that today because the lightbulb industry has created a whole new type of confusion.

I will attempt to explain. All I needed was an appliance bulb for a five year old refrigerator; why it burned out is a mystery because the bulb in mother’s refrigerator lasted for twenty years. It’s not as if there are three teenagers spending thirty minutes each, six times a day, holding open the refrigerator door, yelling, “There is nothing in here to eat.’’ This would of course shorten the life of a bulb, but the children are grown and gone now.

Fortunately, there are only six types of appliance bulbs, but to muddle the mind to the point of shock there is somewhere near a zillion type of bulbs to light up everything, indoors or outdoors. It’s possible if the buy-ee had a degree in electrical technology, or carried a guessing charm blessed by a leprechaun, the bulb search would go easier.

Buying any bulb today is perplexing and difficult, mind altering, no matter what you want or need.  Honestly, you will spend at least one hour searching, thirty minutes with a sales person with a badge labeled lighting specialist, and you still could come away with the wrong bulb.

Knowing the type bulb needed, what shade of light, wattage, how many lumens, and is it a halogen, or energy efficient. To be successful in your purchase, according to the lighting specialist, you should know if you need an LED long life, cool or warm, natural daylight, bright, soft, or white light; see what I mean.

Is it for indoor or outdoor use?  Most everyone knows there is a huge difference; outdoor bulbs must be weather resistant, know if they’re for motion, solar, high intensity, high pressure, multi vapor, or flood, and what watt or lumens are needed.

Watts for bulbs range from 8.5 to 500, buying the wrong one could mean it might burst into flames. All this is rather exasperating for the buy-ee; so is the price charged for bulbs today. They may range from ninety-nine cents to $42.00 each! What is wrong with this?  I remember buying a four pack of plain 100 watt bulbs for a dollar, and they lasted all year!

Its possible bulb making companies has set out to confuse the masses, become a bit greedy, and laughing at the new language they created. That may not be exactly accurate, but it sounds as if capitalism might have a few flaws or else there are lighting engineers with too much time on their hands.

Our top priority is a light in the refrigerator; okay, the house, deck, patio, the barn, maybe the pool.  However, we don’t need everything to be lit up as bright and colorful as the solar system, but according to the electric bill, it is.

Carol Cook, Texas Author writes humor articles that have appeared in dozens of newspapers and magazines for years, author of five books of humor. A member of the Authors Guild, Texas Author’s Association, and the Poetry Society of Texas. Web Site: https//carolcookwriter.com

by Carol Cook